The Obsidian Collection Page 44

“Annie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you out.” Her face fell. Not surprisingly, she looked a little shocked by my statement. “I just came out of a ten year relationship, and I’ve just realized that I’m sick of playing games.”

  “I’m sorry,” she began, her brow furrowing, “I’m just a game?”

  Oh God, I was fucking this up royally.

  “I’m gay.” The words tumbled out so softly that I wondered if I’d actually uttered them. And then I saw her expression. Yep. It was definitely out there.

  “Wow,” she said. “I’m sorry, I’ve just never had a guy tell me he’s gay on a first date.” I was officially an asshole.

  “I am so sorry, Annie. You seem like a really nice girl, which is why I couldn’t do this. I’m sorry.”

  She smiled at me and reached for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “It’s okay. I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you. I actually admire your bravery in telling me right now.” She paused, a smile on her lips. “I realize you’re probably not ready for anything yet, but I have a friend I think you’d be perfect for. His name’s Luke. Let me know if you ever want me to play matchmaker.”

  I laughed. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “I might go if that’s okay with you? It’s been a hell of a day,” she winced. I nodded and stood up as she slid out of her seat. “I hope we can be friends though, Cam.”

  Four beers later, the walls were starting to spin when I felt someone lifting me up.

  “It went that well, huh?” Eric chuckled as he helped me outside. I groaned as he helped me into his car. I felt like shit. The last thing I wanted to do was go home to my empty apartment. Eric climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door. “You can come back to my place. I’ll take you to get your car in the morning.”

  I didn’t argue. I didn’t care enough to argue. I just gazed out of the window as we exited onto the freeway.

  “How much have you had to drink exactly?”

  “A few beers,” I muttered, rubbing my head. Eric burst into laughter.

  “Serious? Holy shit, you’re a cheap drunk.” He pulled into his driveway and turned off the car. I glanced around, surprised the drive here had gone so fast.

  “So the redhead was a no go?” smirked Eric. He raised his eyebrows as he unfastened his belt.

  “I’m gay you know.” I laughed, as if it was the funniest thing in the world. “Of course you don’t know. Why would you? I’ve been acting just like I have my whole life, all so you wouldn’t know how I felt.”

  Oh God, kill me now. This was why I didn’t drink. This exact moment. My heart began to race as I struggled to comprehend what I had just done. I couldn’t have really just said that—to him—could I?

  Eric’s hand rested on the door handle. He eyed me thoughtfully.

  “How you felt?” he finally repeated.

  Fuck. Shit, shit, shit. I could feel the sweat beginning to pool at the back of my neck. I shifted in my seat, my eyes darting outside. What was I going to do? Run? I snorted. Yeah, run where? I was at his fucking house. God, he was my boss. I’d have to move hospitals. And say what? I couldn’t ask for a transfer this far in without a good reason.

  “Can we please just forget this conversation?” I muttered. Opening the door, I literally fell out of the car. The cold wind hit me in the face, crashing me back to reality as I lay on my back, staring at the sky.

  Fuck. I closed my eyes and lay my head back against the gravel of the driveway.

  “Cam?” Eric stood above me, his hand outstretched.

  “I’m fine right here,” I mumbled.

  “Don’t be an idiot,” he said, rolling his eyes. He reached down and gripped my hand, yanking me to my feet. “You need another drink.”

  Yeah, because that’s what I needed right now.

  Regardless, I followed him up to his door and inside. Hell, it couldn’t get any worse, could it?

  I sat in an armchair, clutching my head with one hand and a glass of water with the other. Eric chuckled, handing me a couple of tablets.

  “What’s this?” I muttered, examining them.

  “Tylenol. For your head.”

  I took them, washing them down with a mouthful of water. I couldn’t even look him in the eye. The alcohol was beginning to wear off, and running over and over in my head were my words to him. I might as well have gotten down on one knee and proposed to the guy. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how I was feeling. Mortified. Shocked. They were closer to what was going on inside me.

  I lifted my head, my eyes locking with his for just a moment. He was smirking. Great. He found this funny. The whole hospital would probably know by tomorrow.

  “So,” Eric began, a faint smile playing on his lips, “outside you were saying something about how you feel. Care to elaborate?” he asked.

  “Not really,” I muttered, my face heating up. If I trusted myself to walk right now, I’d be gone. But I knew if I stood up, I’d probably end up flat on my face.

  “I didn’t pick that you were gay,” he said. I cringed. Did this guy have no boundaries? There was nothing sinister in his tone. He just didn’t get—or care—how personal and freaking embarrassing this was for me. “Didn’t you have a girlfriend?”

  “Yeah, well, let’s just say I’m not exactly out of the closet,” I muttered. “Look, I’m sorry, but this really isn’t something I want to talk about. Especially with you.”

  He nodded and sat forward. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious. You know where everything is, right? I might head to bed. I have an early start.”

  I nodded, relieved to be left alone. I watched him go, my heart aching for what I knew I’d never have. Why did I have to fall for him of all people?

  “Cam.”

  I stirred, not wanting to wake up from my sleep just yet. It felt like I’d only drifted off a few minutes ago.

  “Hey,” I cried, sitting up in shock as the covers were dragged from my body. Eric laughed, tossing the blankets on the floor. His eyes wandered downward. I cringed as he raised an eyebrow at my very obvious morning erection.

  “I hope that’s not for me,” he joked, his eyes laughing at me.

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” I mumbled, grabbing my jeans. I slid them on. “What time is it? I thought you had work?” I asked.

  “Been and now home. It’s nearly three in the afternoon.”

  “What?” I gasped, reaching for my phone. That couldn’t be right. But it was. Holy shit, I’d slept for about fourteen hours. I stood up and ran my hand through my hair, stifling a yawn.

  “Coffee?” Asked Eric.

  “Please.”

  I followed him out into the kitchen and sat at the counter as he put coffee on.

  “I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I wake up,” I mumbled, yawning again.

  Eric shrugged. “No rush. Stay for dinner if you like.”

  “Nah, I really should be getting home…”

  “To what?” Eric smirked. “Your big empty place? Seriously, I don’t mind the company. I was just planning on Chinese takeout. Take it or leave it.”

  Eric was going out of his way to make this as painless as possible for me.

  “Okay. That sounds good.”

  I took my coffee over to the sofa and sat down. Eric sat next to me, switching on the TV as he set his cup down on the coffee table. We watched reruns of Seinfeld in silence. Surprisingly, the awkwardness had begun to fizzle away. Sure, when I thought about my confession, I still cringed like a maniac, but if I pushed it from my mind, things felt normal.

  The strange thing was, I’d always distanced myself from friendships with other guys because I was terrified of being found out. In school, I was the kid who was friendly with everyone, but close to no one. My developing relationship with Eric was my first experience at any kind of relationship with another guy, and if felt weird to me that I really had no idea how to behave. What was normal? Did guys stay at each other’s ho
uses, and sit around eating take out and watching Seinfeld? I had no fucking idea.

  After a couple of hours watching Seinfeld, we ordered our food. I had honey chicken, while Eric ordered chow mein. After eating, I decided it was time I left. Things were starting to feel weird, and considering I had to work with the guy, that was the last thing I wanted.

  “I guess I better be going,” I said, sitting forward. Eric nodded. He almost looked disappointed. That confused me. This guy was a heartthrob. Why had we connected like this when he could be out with any woman he wanted?

  We both stood up. Then I remembered my car was still at the hospital.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, pulling out my phone. Eric looked at me questioningly. “Taxi,” I explained.

  He reached out and touched my arm.

  “Stay.”

  One word. One simple word yet I had no idea how to read it. Stay? Here? Why?

  Eric cleared his throat and sighed. “Look, I’m no good at this. I’m a fuck ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. I don’t do this.”

  My eyes widened as I struggled to comprehend what he was saying. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

  “Yesterday, when you said you had feelings for me, you’re not alone.”

  Holy. Fucking. Shit. I had to be dreaming. There was no possible way this was happening right now. He stepped closer to me, his fingers tracing the outline of my bicep as they made their way down my arm. My skin tingled at his touch.

  I breathed in sharply as his arm curled around my waist, pulling me against him. My heart pounded as I took in his beautiful green eyes. Then he kissed me. His lips pressed against mine softly at first, then increasing in speed as his tongue curled around mine. The roughness of his chin brushed against mine as his fingers worked their way through my hair. Holy…wow. I was speechless. Kissing Eric was so different to every other kiss I’d experienced. It was so raw and powerful, so full of emotion and vulnerability.

  We parted briefly. He cocked his head and waited for me to speak. Only I couldn’t think of anything to say. Instead, I reached for the hem of his tee shirt and lifted it over his head.

  He smirked as I ran my hands over his bare chest. I was so hard; my cock was aching as it pressed against the constraint of my pants. As if he could read my mind, his hand wandered down to lower my zipper.

  I groaned as he unbuttoned my jeans, before reaching inside my briefs, his strong hands grasping at my cock. His lips found mine again, his hand stroking my shaft tenderly.

  “You’ve got no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do this to you,” he muttered as his grip rolled up and down my length. The thought of him wanting me for so long almost pushed me over the edge. All that time spent thinking about him and what I wanted to do…he had been thinking it too.

  His hands pressed against my chest, sending me back onto the sofa. I fell into the softness of the cushions behind me as Eric collapsed to his knees. Gasping, my body jumped as he took my tip in his mouth, rolling his tongue around my shaft.

  “Oh, wow.” I closed my eyes and threw my head back as his lips worked along my length. He took all of me in his mouth and began to suck, up and down, his tongue tickling my sensitive skin.

  I eased further down the sofa, spreading my legs as my fingers ran through his dark hair. All the times I’d been with Lucinda, imagining she was a guy, nothing compared to this moment. There was something so raw and real about being with another man.

  I gasped as his lips worked my length. I was so fucking hard; I felt like I was going to explode at any moment. He smirked up at me, as if he could see the effect he had on me. Maybe he had some idea, but he had no fucking idea how turned on I was right now.

  “Fuck,” I hissed as he began to suck harder and faster. I was so close. My fingers gripped the fabric of the cushion beneath me. “Yeah,” I gasped, arching my back. Then it happened. I felt my release coat the back of his throat as he continued to suck. I groaned, pushing him away as the sensation of his mouth on me became too much to handle.

  He stood up and wiped his mouth, the smirk still evident.

  “Well, that was unexpected.”

  Eric laughed, nodding in agreement.

  “So you’re…” My voice trailed off.

  “Gay?” Eric raised his eyebrows. “What gave it away? Is it the shoes, or the way I just sucked you off?” Okay, he had a point. I shook my head as he laughed. “I’ve been out for a long time, Cam. I just don’t like people at work knowing my business.”

  “So, when you told me you have ‘friends’, you meant guys.”

  He nodded. “I’m not good at relationships. I’ve never really wanted one before…” He stopped, an awkward silence consuming us. “Until now,” he sighed.

  My head shot up.

  Eric winced. “Look, I can’t promise you this is going to work. But I’d like to give it a shot. You know, if you want to.” Oh, God, he was blushing! The big tough man was blushing because of me.

  “I’d like that a lot,” I said, not bothering to contain my elation.

  Sighing, I threw my keys down on the kitchen table. Shit my place was a mess. I'd spent nearly every night over at Eric’s, only coming home to grab clothes and shower. Tonight, he was coming here. Apparently, he wanted to see where I lived.

  I looked around, not quite knowing where to start. The place was a fucking disaster zone. Without sounding like a dick, at least having Lucinda here meant it stayed relatively clean. She couldn’t tolerate disorder. But then again, she couldn’t tolerate much.

  An hour later, there was a knock on the door. I’d just shoved the last of the washing through the machine. On my way to the front door, I checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror, spraying a little aftershave onto my neck. The citrus, woody scent filled the air. Running a hand through my hair, I took a deep breath.

  “You got this,” I muttered to myself. It did nothing to ease the anxiety pooling in my stomach. Every time I saw Eric, be it at work, or out of work, my body went crazy. It was like all my senses were addicted to everything about him. When he smirked at me, I nearly lost my shit. And those eyes. God, they carried so much more meaning now that we were…whatever it is that we were.

  I opened the door to see Eric leaning casually against the doorframe. His smile was intoxicating. My heart pounded as our eyes met. I swallowed, trying to ignore the rush of blood heading south.

  “Come in.” I stood aside. He squeezed past me, his body pressing up against mine. Deliberate or not, the move drove me insane. He smirked as his hand brushed over my erection.

  “I’ve wanted to do this all day,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss me. A sigh escaped me as his lips touched mine, his mouth wrapping around my own as his tongue invaded my mouth.

  At work, we kept it very professional. Neither of us wanted what we had to be out in the open. I wasn’t ready for that, and I got the feeling he wasn’t either. We were just going along at our own pace, enjoying the company of one another.

  “Can I get you a drink?” I asked, my hand lingering in his.

  “A wine if you have it.”

  “Red or white?”

  “Red.”

  He walked around the space that was my living room, taking everything in. Framed pictures of me as a baby, me with my parents and other random photos lay scattered on the bookshelf. He picked up a picture of four-year-old me, naked in the bath, laughing at the camera and smirked.

  “How cute,” he commented. “Do you get on well with your parents?”

  I shrugged. “I know they love me, but I feel like I disappoint them for being who I am sometimes. Like with Lucinda. There was a lot of pressure for me to marry her. I haven’t even told them we broke up.”

  The truth was, telling them would lead to questions, and when they did finally accept it was over between us, Mom would be on the rampage trying to set me up with every available girl she knew.

  The only way out was to come out, and I didn’t trust them not shut me out of their lives if they knew the
truth.

  “I’m guessing they don’t know about your being gay,” Eric said.

  “Do yours?” I shot back.

  Eric shrugged. “They did. At least, Mom did. Dad died when I was four, and Mom died last year to cancer.”

  “Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” I instantly felt bad about lashing out.

  “It’s okay. Some of my closest friends know, but that’s it. I’m not ashamed of who I am. I just don’t like to share my business with everyone.”

  “I’m not ashamed either,” I said quietly, handing him his drink. “I think I’m more worried my family will be ashamed.”

  “Never apologize for who you are,” he said seriously.

  “I’m not sure everyone would agree with that,” I joked. Eric walked over to me, cupping my chin with his soft but masculine hands.

  “You. So long as you remember that, nobody else matters. If they really love you, they’ll come around. If not, you’ll survive knowing you’re being true to yourself.

  It was just about the sweetest, most honest thing anyone had ever said to me. Placing my arms around his waist, I pulled him closer to me, my lips finding my way to his. Leading him into my bedroom, I began to unbutton his shirt. He watched me, a slight smile on his lips as his hands fiddled with the drawstring of my shorts. We undressed each other until we both stood naked. Glancing down, I took his cock in my hands and began to rub. He groaned softly as a ripple of anticipation rushed through me. Until now, he had only fooled around. This time it was going further. I could feel it.

  Curling my free hand around his neck, I pushed my mouth against his while still working his cock. His tongue circled mine in a way that made me wish it was elsewhere. God, this is incredible. How could I have gone this long denying myself the touch of another man?

  “You’re fucking beautiful, Cam,” he muttered as his mouth moved along the length of my neck. “Have you wondered what it would feel like, having my cock inside you? ” His fingers stroked my shaft as I exhaled sharply.

  “God, yes,” I muttered. “All the fucking time.”

  “Do you want me inside you? Would you like that?” He pushed me onto the bed. I rolled over onto my knees, parting my legs. My hand closed around my shaft as he rolled a condom on.